Opportunity or Misunderstand

Many people success because of they able to grab the opportunity and expand and make useful of it in their career, studies or love... But I'm still a failure... Sometimes really don't know when there is an opportunity for me... I was scare to take any action on you coz i don't know whether it was an opportunity or I just misunderstood... But by doing this I feel that I was getting further from you...

Others might get this opportunity and be with you while I'm alone... I was scare to try when there is an opportunity... Can you give me confident??

There is a saying:
Once there was a true love approaching me but i did not treasure it,
And felt regret after it,
It was suffered,
If I were given a chance, I will definitely say 'I Love You' and
If I can decide when my love ends, I certainly will wish for another 10 thousand years....

Bad Days

Something bad happened to my family last week and it was unpredictable

Wednesday
Woke up at 12am and jz knew tat my final exam result is released... Felt tension to know it, nervous when the intranet was loading... Even after open the page successfully I also not dare to see it... I jz drag the page slowly, row by row, subject by subject... Luckily the result made me feel satisfied... Somehow, i received a phone call from my dad... He was in Penang... From the phone call, I can't hear him properly and he said he feel imbalance... That are the symptoms of stroke... But he did not want to go to the hospital immediately... He jz hope he will feel better after that... But I felt that it was serious since it is a stroke... He's having high blood pressure... I was worried... My mom then phone him back at night asking his condition and he said he's ok...

Thursday
Morning, my mom received my dad's phone call that he's coming back coz feeling not well... So, i jz wait him back from penang and pray for him... He reached home at bout 4.30pm... He refused to go to the hospital nor clinic but after my mom asking him to go, i fetch him to clinic... The doctor, is a friend of my dad checked his blood pressure and asking his condition ended up saying the my dad had a stroke... He wrote a letter to the General Hospital Ipoh and asked us to admit to the hospital immediately... The doctor of GH confirmed that that is a stroke but a mild stroke... My dad need to stay in the hospital for a day or two for further check-ups... What I can do was accompanying him in the hospital...

Friday
Can't sleep for the whole night coz too many people in a big room... Another doctor came at bout 8am asking bout my dad condition also... My dad's right arm and leg still can move but weak and speaking not very clearly... The doctor said that my dad can discharge but in the evening... I was too tired so i juz went back to Kampar at 10am and went to Ipoh at 3pm to fetch my dad back... He was happy hearing that he can discharge from the hospital... By the time he was discharged, we required to walk to the pharmacy to take his medicine... Tat time, he was weak and can't walk by his own... He was too tired... After reaching home, he ate something and slept...

Saturday
He's arm and leg were weak and need me at his side to walk... I was worry that will his illness become more serious... Then, my mom got to know that there is singse is good at akupuntur towards stroke and she was able to make an appointment with her on Sunday...

Sunday
My family and I went to Ipoh once again to see the singse... She was great... But i saw my dad was suffering during the treatment... Jz hope tat he need not undergo those treatment so many times to get fully recover...

Monday
My first day of new sem, felt happy to be school again but at the same time worry bout my dad's illness... I jz act nothing happen at all at campus... Keep myself happy always no matter at campus or at home... But something really make me and my mom feel happy is that his speaking is more clearly....

Tuesday
Today was the second treatment of the akupuntur but I was unable to fetch him go since i was having class... I was worried coz my mom had no experience driving long distance but thank God their journey was safe... When I was jz reach home after class... My dad showed me how he walked on his own... That was a big improvement... His pronounciation is better and better... I really hope he can fully recover after a few more treatments...

Saw you again....

Finally i saw you and the location was my primary school.... We able to have a 5-minute talk but all about the activity you organized... More than one year you din talk to me... After that being interrupted by your colleagues... I almost had no time to ask 'How are you?'... It's ok... I think it was enough for me... I tried to walk away since it was end of our conversation... I was not dare to look back since I dun think you will do so...

After awhile, I woke up and I realised it was a dream... Long time I din dream of you... I think I dreamed of you because you just accept my friend request in facebook and I saw your current pictures...

Disappointment....

You are not making me but people around you disappointed... I dunno whether you are changed or I start to know u better now... Things that can be easily get you won't be appreciate... You really no need to ask or tell me about how is your relationship anymore since I won't give you any advice...

Maybe it is because we both have different perspectives on what is relationship... What I need is a real and stable relationship but you just need relationship to fill your loneliness... But don't you think it will hurt people around you... Maybe you know, but that is your attitude... You can't change it...

I have tried my best to give you my advice... I think I've done what a best friend did...

Hard not to think

Sometimes it is good to be busy... When you are free, you will think... Think of something that is not necessary... For me, i will think of her... This feeling is a bit same like 3 years ago... Jealousy is around me... But I think i have learn to control my EQ better if compare to 3 years ago...

I will cherish her if she really have a bf... But can I really do that?? I really scare to try... I'm sure that I really like to see her happy even she is not with me...

I was once be a guardian angel beside you every moment that you need me... But i just realise someone has substituted me and maybe he can do better... Then, what am I on your view now?? Just an ordinary friend?? Best friend?? I scare to ask you coz i really don't want to get those answers from you...

My Poem

Stars are still shining,
But they are still high above,
You are still denying,
But I know you are still in love.

Promises can't make forever,
But it can make us together.

We were far apart,
But we shared a same heart,
I know it was hard,
At least we tried our part.

What can I feel??
My answer will be only you.
What can you see??
I hope your answer will be only me.

Nothing more that I can say,
Only thing to do is to pray,
Pray to love you more,
And get myself in your core.

With you is a dream,
Without you is a nightmare,
Even though you are still thinking of him,
But I will wait,
As I don't care.

I learn to let you go,
Because I ever know,
How much I love you so.

I'm might not good in poem,
Coz I'm bad by the rhythm,
I'll try to do this to you too,
Coz my love to you is true.

Simple Love Makes Complicated

What i want is just a simple love
Date with a simple girl
But it is not simple at all
I feel tired with all this
In other words, i think i just fade up
U were once important to me, but now I'm not that sure
U are not as simple as what I think
There might be many boundaries between me n u

"Out of difficulties, makes miracle"
quoted from Rex from Burning Flame 3
But difficulties are hard to face
And miracle is hard to achieve
Maybe I'm still not well-prepared and i just unable to answer such easy question
At this moment I think that u are not that considerate to me
Maybe u are joking but I'm serious

I angry because I care you,
I care you because I love you.

When I'm not at your side, you will think that I dun care about you,
When I'm staying by your side, you will think that I annoyed you.